A few things first, I have two amazing sisters who I love to death, they are beautiful and have these amazing figures. Why I'm telling you this will become clear when I tell you my story.
For as I can remember I have always wanted to look like my sisters and if you could see them you would understand why. I'm the odd man out from our trio, they have dark skin, dark eyes, skinny figures but not in a yuck way, they still manage to have curves. I on the other hand have fair skin, light eyes, have a bigger build and am short.
Going shopping with them or when it came to hand me downs was never a fun experience, still isn't.
As much as I compared myself to them, so did my parents. They Favorite thing to say is why can't you be more like your sisters. I bet everyone has heard that at some point in they life but it gets worse. I got judged on my looks. Not just by extended family but by my own 6 parents. Here is something that happened earlier on this week. I was on the couch watching TV when my Dad comes up to me and says if I don't tell you this no one will. I think that you have put on weight. Your thighs are too fat 'and your BF will leave you when he realises that you are fat. As a woman you need to look a certain way. Now that wasn't the worse of it. My mother was in the next room and could hear everything that he was saying to me and not once did she stick up for me or tell him to shut up.
And it gets better, the next day when I come home he punches me in the stomach twice and asks me does it hurt. When I don't say anything and walk away, he gets upset and doesn't talk to me.
Here is the thing about me I suffer from PCOS, it effects my weight and my body's ability to process fat and sugar. I also work out anywhere from 3-5 times a week, twice with a PT and once on my own. So it isn't like I'm not trying.
I'm 5'4 and weight 80kgs. Not the best weight to be for my height but my weight has a habit of going up and down and I try my best to control it.
So as you can see I'm not lazy I don't sit on my couch all day eating junk food, I'm pretty active and try to eat well.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what you weigh, what you look like, someone will love you and it might not be your own family but someone will see that there is more to you than what you weigh. They will see that you are a good person, a kind person, a person who has a big heart and a lot of love to give to the world. Hang in there. There is someone who loves you, don't give up and don't let the voices in your head win. Don't let them win. Just hold on, the best is still to come.
Xx